Five weeks of touring in March, and I survived. Mainly due to constant diligence in getting enough sleep and food. Going to bed right after the show. Making sure I always had something to eat in the morning.

Things have been fun in trimester two... he's been growing by the day, first with the little bumps on my stomach. Now he can kick pretty hard, and I can feel bits of limbs and head going by when it's right up against my stomach front... which is amazing. Now the backaches are starting up, probably a side effect from the touring. I am getting ready to spend the next three months at home, since my gig is pretty much up with the band I've been with for four years. There's a lot of work to do around the house; painting three rooms, working the garden, figuring out what baby stuff I need. Looking around the house and realizing the many bits we need to "babyproof."

As he gets bigger, it gets more and more real. But I think it's not going to get really real until I'm holding him in my arms and getting no sleep, and feeding him constantly.

The husband and I were talking last night too; we both had had the same thought.... taking this step, creating life, means we are really in the "cycle of life." Before now, we just floated around the planet doing whatever. But with this big change, we both feel a step closer to realizing -really realizing - our mortality, moving towards the end. Sounds morbid, but what we feel is just a greater sense of being "human" - even our own infiniteness, and maybe the sense that even though we want the best life for our child, one that includes us for many years, there's no guarantee. We can only do and hope for the best. I feel my priorities have already shifted so much. When it's not just about you anymore, you really feel it in every decision.